Article about autistic children's grieving
Dear everyone:
Welcome to another Awakening Minds update! The feature of this month is my article that explores the importance of grieving for autistic children and the role it serves in their socio-emotional development. I write about this topic from a personal standpoint: Sebastien's grieving over the end of a fabulous, but challenging holiday. This update will also highlight some of the talks and workshop activities that I have been doing and the direction I have been heading with Awakening Minds. I hope that you can spread the word about these new activities.
1. Here is an excerpt of my new article, "When Your Autistic Child Grieves".
When Your Autistic Child Grieves
By Choo Kah Ying
As the sun descended over the lush verdant landscape of rice paddies, outlining the silhouette of the glorious mountains in the not-too-distant horizon with its ethereal light, Sebastien, my autistic 13-year-old son, wept. I had inadvertently triggered his tears by bidding farewell to our holiday destination (“Bye bye Malang!”) after the train had pulled out of the station. But my pointed farewell was not just marking the end of our stay in Malang, but also the most fantastic holiday in which Sebastien had rose to the occasion not just once, but several times...
What I had anticipated, but not spoken to him about, was the final challenge: the confrontation of the end of the holiday. Certainly, I could not have known ahead of time that he would grieve so intensely for the end of this holiday…
* * * * *
The grief of an autistic child, particularly one who is not particularly verbal, is difficult for a parent to witness. When your autistic child grieves, you feel more shut out from your child’s world than ever. At a moment when you feel that you should rush in to comfort your child, he literally pushes you away, turns aside and withdraws further from you...
While it is hard for us parents to see our children go through the grieving process on their own, grieving is not a bad thing for them. As parents, we have to come to terms with our discomfort and let go of our need to shelter our children from the painful realities of life. This is a vital experience of growing up for everyone, including our autistic children. Yes, even our autistic children should have the chance to learn how to come to terms with things not going their way and take responsibility for their own emotions. And yes, even our autistic children can mature and grow up.
(To read more, please go to: http://www.awakeningminds.sg/articles_when_your_autistic_child_grieves.html)
2. Recently, as part of my preventive approach towards mental wellness, I have been giving parenting talks to parents of typical children at primary schools and even at a corporation (as part of its employee welfare initiative; if your corporation would be interested, please pass on my information). Here are some of topics.
Reaching for the Stars! Motivating Your Child for Success
Getting to Know All About You! Forging an Authentic Relationship with Your Child
Do I Have Your Attention? Engaging Your Child with Effective Communication Strategies
Training for Life! Developing Self-Discipline and Independence in Your Child
Bringing Life to Learning… and Vice Versa! Making Learning Meaningful and Relevant.
Any Child is Teachable! Creating Effective Scaffolding for Learning.
(To learn more about these workshops, please email me directly.)
3. At the same time, I am looking forward to conducting a workshop for parents at a special needs school (in Singapore), which will address a powerful and not often addressed topic of grief over having a child with special needs. This workshop will also empower parents to adopt practical strategies for coping with their challenging journey. I would love to have the opportunity to reach out to more parents on this issue. To me, addressing grief can transform parents' entire perspective on their life and help them to embrace their children with more joy than unhappiness.
(To learn more about the caregiver workshops of children with special needs, please go to: http://www.awakeningminds.sg/workshops.html#caregivers)
4. It is my belief that most children are teachable. It is up to us as caregivers and educators to identify helpful strategies and create the supportive learning materials and tools to help them to learn. Through my experience of teaching my autistic son and other children, as well as my exploration of existing materials, I have created various types of laminated materials to facilitate learning in literacy and numeracy for children with special needs and typical children with learning difficulties.
(To learn more about these products, please go to: http://www.awakeningminds.sg/learning_materials.html )
In particular, I would like to highlight my Words, Pictures, Story! creation -- a fun, visual and interactive template that provides scaffolding (images, clue words and language prompts) for teaching language, writing and even mathematics.
While all of these materials can be individualised and customised, I do have available a WPS! story template and workbook (in .pdf format) for sale at SD$15.00 : (Name of Dog) Saved the Day! (for children 6-9). They can be further customised to fit the age and literacy level of your child. You can also ask me to print it out and mail it to you at a higher cost (SD$22.50).
(To learn more about these products, please go to: http://www.awakeningminds.sg/books.html#wps4kids)
5. Through my forays into innovative educational strategies for children with special needs, I have also formulated the following Creative Writing Workshops that are targeted at typical children as participants. With these workshops, I hope to transform children's perceptions of writing as a boring, isolated and anxiety-provoking experience, thus inculcating in them a love for stories, reading, writing and critical thinking. As these workshops will involve group activity, I also hope to develop cooperative learning.
Introducing Words, Pictures, Story! (WPS!): A Writing Template to Initiate Learners into Writing (for ages 5-7).
Transforming Words, Pictures, Story! (WPS!) into a Story Map (for ages 8-10).
Brainstorming a Story: Let’s Compose a Story Together (for ages 10-12).
Writers' Theatre: Story, Acting, Revising -- A New Storywriting Process (for ages 8-12).
(To learn more about these workshops, please go to: http://www.awakeningminds.sg/workshops.html#learningaids and http://www.awakeningminds.sg/workshops.html#creativewriting. These workshops, as described, are targeted at caregivers/educators. But they can be modified for learners themselves.)
I look forward to hearing from you and your queries about any of the above talks and workshops.
Best regards,
Kah Ying
Welcome to another Awakening Minds update! The feature of this month is my article that explores the importance of grieving for autistic children and the role it serves in their socio-emotional development. I write about this topic from a personal standpoint: Sebastien's grieving over the end of a fabulous, but challenging holiday. This update will also highlight some of the talks and workshop activities that I have been doing and the direction I have been heading with Awakening Minds. I hope that you can spread the word about these new activities.
1. Here is an excerpt of my new article, "When Your Autistic Child Grieves".
When Your Autistic Child Grieves
By Choo Kah Ying
As the sun descended over the lush verdant landscape of rice paddies, outlining the silhouette of the glorious mountains in the not-too-distant horizon with its ethereal light, Sebastien, my autistic 13-year-old son, wept. I had inadvertently triggered his tears by bidding farewell to our holiday destination (“Bye bye Malang!”) after the train had pulled out of the station. But my pointed farewell was not just marking the end of our stay in Malang, but also the most fantastic holiday in which Sebastien had rose to the occasion not just once, but several times...
What I had anticipated, but not spoken to him about, was the final challenge: the confrontation of the end of the holiday. Certainly, I could not have known ahead of time that he would grieve so intensely for the end of this holiday…
* * * * *
The grief of an autistic child, particularly one who is not particularly verbal, is difficult for a parent to witness. When your autistic child grieves, you feel more shut out from your child’s world than ever. At a moment when you feel that you should rush in to comfort your child, he literally pushes you away, turns aside and withdraws further from you...
While it is hard for us parents to see our children go through the grieving process on their own, grieving is not a bad thing for them. As parents, we have to come to terms with our discomfort and let go of our need to shelter our children from the painful realities of life. This is a vital experience of growing up for everyone, including our autistic children. Yes, even our autistic children should have the chance to learn how to come to terms with things not going their way and take responsibility for their own emotions. And yes, even our autistic children can mature and grow up.
(To read more, please go to: http://www.awakeningminds.sg/articles_when_your_autistic_child_grieves.html)
2. Recently, as part of my preventive approach towards mental wellness, I have been giving parenting talks to parents of typical children at primary schools and even at a corporation (as part of its employee welfare initiative; if your corporation would be interested, please pass on my information). Here are some of topics.
Reaching for the Stars! Motivating Your Child for Success
Getting to Know All About You! Forging an Authentic Relationship with Your Child
Do I Have Your Attention? Engaging Your Child with Effective Communication Strategies
Training for Life! Developing Self-Discipline and Independence in Your Child
Bringing Life to Learning… and Vice Versa! Making Learning Meaningful and Relevant.
Any Child is Teachable! Creating Effective Scaffolding for Learning.
(To learn more about these workshops, please email me directly.)
3. At the same time, I am looking forward to conducting a workshop for parents at a special needs school (in Singapore), which will address a powerful and not often addressed topic of grief over having a child with special needs. This workshop will also empower parents to adopt practical strategies for coping with their challenging journey. I would love to have the opportunity to reach out to more parents on this issue. To me, addressing grief can transform parents' entire perspective on their life and help them to embrace their children with more joy than unhappiness.
(To learn more about the caregiver workshops of children with special needs, please go to: http://www.awakeningminds.sg/workshops.html#caregivers)
4. It is my belief that most children are teachable. It is up to us as caregivers and educators to identify helpful strategies and create the supportive learning materials and tools to help them to learn. Through my experience of teaching my autistic son and other children, as well as my exploration of existing materials, I have created various types of laminated materials to facilitate learning in literacy and numeracy for children with special needs and typical children with learning difficulties.
(To learn more about these products, please go to: http://www.awakeningminds.sg/learning_materials.html )
In particular, I would like to highlight my Words, Pictures, Story! creation -- a fun, visual and interactive template that provides scaffolding (images, clue words and language prompts) for teaching language, writing and even mathematics.
While all of these materials can be individualised and customised, I do have available a WPS! story template and workbook (in .pdf format) for sale at SD$15.00 : (Name of Dog) Saved the Day! (for children 6-9). They can be further customised to fit the age and literacy level of your child. You can also ask me to print it out and mail it to you at a higher cost (SD$22.50).
(To learn more about these products, please go to: http://www.awakeningminds.sg/books.html#wps4kids)
5. Through my forays into innovative educational strategies for children with special needs, I have also formulated the following Creative Writing Workshops that are targeted at typical children as participants. With these workshops, I hope to transform children's perceptions of writing as a boring, isolated and anxiety-provoking experience, thus inculcating in them a love for stories, reading, writing and critical thinking. As these workshops will involve group activity, I also hope to develop cooperative learning.
Introducing Words, Pictures, Story! (WPS!): A Writing Template to Initiate Learners into Writing (for ages 5-7).
Transforming Words, Pictures, Story! (WPS!) into a Story Map (for ages 8-10).
Brainstorming a Story: Let’s Compose a Story Together (for ages 10-12).
Writers' Theatre: Story, Acting, Revising -- A New Storywriting Process (for ages 8-12).
(To learn more about these workshops, please go to: http://www.awakeningminds.sg/workshops.html#learningaids and http://www.awakeningminds.sg/workshops.html#creativewriting. These workshops, as described, are targeted at caregivers/educators. But they can be modified for learners themselves.)
I look forward to hearing from you and your queries about any of the above talks and workshops.
Best regards,
Kah Ying
posted by Choo Kah Ying at
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