An article on dealing with the behaviour of adolescent with autism

Dear everyone:

Here is the October edition of the Awakening Minds update!

1. My latest article entitled "Drill Sergeant Mama" addresses the challenges of dealing with an autistic adolescent and the behavioural management approach. For parents and educators who are interested in managing the behaviour of the children with special needs, or adolescents (typical or atypical), this would be an interesting article. Through my consultations and learning support sessions for children, which have enabled me to meet many families with special needs children, I am continuously struck by how important behavioural management is and how often caregivers fail to execute the approach consistently. As a result, they fail to teach their children the key lessons of life -- that actions have consequences and taking responsibility for them.

Below is an excerpt:

Drill Sergeant Mama

…Or Battling a Teenager with Autism

By Choo Kah Ying

Back in 2005, I became a staunch believer in behavioural management when I used this approach to extinguish Sebastien’s persistent aggression. At virtually all my autism workshops, I would tell caregivers and teachers that the foundation of our relationships with our children lies in our ability to manage them.

In a nutshell, the behavioural management approach is the consistent administration of rewards and consequences to motivate a child with autism (in this case) to engage in desirable behaviour and refrain from undesirable ones. Simple as this approach may look on paper, the devil lies in the consistency of its implementation. Unfortunately, this is where many caregivers fall into the wayside…

Intimidated or overwhelmed by their children’s fiery counter-response (eg. hatred-ridden protests, explosive tantrums and torrents of tears), caregivers inevitably cave in. They forget about their leverage – their command of the resources (money) that can allow them to extend pleasurable privileges to their children (rewards) or deny them (consequences). Ultimately, their children’s desire to persist in their acceptable behaviour prevails over the caregiver’s desire to extinguish it. Unbelievable as it may sound, in the battle of the wills, an autistic child (regardless of his/her functioning level) often triumphs over his/her typical adult parent...

Recently, my battle with Sebastien in the throes of puberty was thrust to yet another level. Despite my decade-old experience of implementing behavioural management, I had to admit that I was taken aback by the rapid transformation of his body, the surge in his appetite and his unpleasant mood swings between euphoria and sullenness. But, most disturbing of all, was the emergence of a fierce defiance in Sebastien, which was determined to go to any lengths to oppose anything standing in his way.

Unlike his rebelliousness of yesteryears, the current version was backed up by Sebastien’s towering frame: within the space of months, the boy had shot up like the magic beanstalk. He was 14 going on 16. Towering above me and many Asian male adults, Sebastien often escaped my notice in crowded public spaces, because I was looking for Sebastien the child who no longer existed. As the frightening pace of his growth showed no signs of letting up any time soon, I could already see the dark clouds of a terrible war gathering ominously in the not-too-distant horizon. Sebastien and his army of hormones — all moving in concert to do the irascible will of its autistic master – were threatening to destroy the edifice of proper behaviour, which I had painstakingly erected over the years. I could not help but feel outmanned and outgunned by this rogue army.

To read more, please go to: http://www.awakeningminds.com.sg/articles_drill_sergeant_mama.html

2. Recently, I have been reading about the efforts of parents with autistic children to educate their children's classmates about autism. Apparently, such efforts often translate into improved behaviour on the part of these children towards the children with special needs.

A few years ago, I was invited by a librarian of a local international school to present my picture book to several classes of young children. My picture book, All Because of the Hummingbird... or the Horse, describes my autistic son's challenges and fears. This book was meant to educate children about children with special needs. During one of the sessions, I came up with the idea of showing a few slides of Sebastien before reading the book. It was amazing how much more attentive they were to the story and how much they wanted to meet him afterwards.

Thus, I feel that I must promote once again my idea of doing a book reading cum slide show about Sebastien to cultivate the quality of empathy in our children towards those with special needs. This would be an incredible lesson in character development. For the 90-minute presentation, I would be willing to take a payment of just $150 and give away 10 picture books to students (worth $10 each). I would love it if schools will take up my offer on this project.

Please feel free to forward this email to others who may be interested...

Best regards,

Kah Ying